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Saturday, February 28, 2009

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Finally I had the chance to upload the videos Jeph recorded for me.

I am taking a stage reading class this semester. It is a class about how musicals are brought together. We were really excited for the performance and like the other stage reading performances, we only anticipated 30 people for 2 shows.
The crazy thing was, more than a hundred people turned up just for the first show and it was probably the biggest audience throughout the past few years.

I am grateful for my supportive friends who came and watched the show and I am happy that you all liked it. :)

The feeling, Amazing

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is a one act musical comedy with music and lyrics by William Finn and a book by Rachel Sheinkin. The show centers around a fictional spelling bee set in a geographically ambiguous Putnam Valley Middle School (however, Putnam County, NY does have a village called Putnam Valley). Six quirky adolescents compete in the Bee, run by three equally-quirky grown-ups.

My character Marcy Park is a recent transfer from Virginia, Marcy placed 9th in last year’s nationals. She speaks six languages, is a member of all-American hockey, a championship rugby player, plays Chopin and Mozart on multiple instruments, sleeps only three hours a night, hides in the bathroom cabinet, and is getting very tired of always winning. She is the poster child for the Over-Achieving Asian, and attends a Catholic school called "Our Lady of Intermittent Sorrows." She is also not allowed to cry.
*Sounds like a typical super competitive Asian child huh.*

quoted from wikipedia.com

So this was my scene....

I Speak Six Languages

Another interesting scene...

Pandemonium: [pan-duh-moh-nee-uhm]

wild uproar or unrestrained disorder; tumult or chaos.
Explains why we were crazy and chaotic at the end of the song :)

Anyway, I will be leaving off to New York City tomorrow and I am nothing but excited.
Manhattan, Times, Square, Ellis Island, and of course, Lion King the Musical,
Here I come!!!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Blast!!

A couple of days ago, more specifically, on Monday, my class and I had our first Stage Reading performance and it was a huge success!
I am so excited, I don't even know how to describe.

Now I am just waiting to upload the videos into my laptop and I will post it up as soon as I can.

On the other hand,
I am so darn tired, I swore to myself never to stay on campus for more than 12 hours again (although I have been doing that for more than a year now). It is just so exhausting rushing from work to class, to another class, and then to rehearsal.

Spring Break is in 2 days.
Tahan.... just two more days.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Dreams are free, so free your dreams

I am pretty sure that everyone has a point in their life that they have doubts and they don't know why are they even placed on earth on the first place.
I guess I have been feeling that way for the past couple of weeks, and it sucks.

I just can't stop but think to myself, why am I here.
What am I going to do after I graduate?
Why did I even choose freaking Music Theatre Performance as my major instead of sticking to something more... practical, like economy or mass communication?
Where am I going to live even if I get to stay here in the States, and how on earth will I be able to support myself?
Will I be one of those people struggling and trying to make it big in this competitive industry that works like a dog in a diner restaurant during day, and rushes for rehearsals and auditions at night?

Seriously, what is the use of having a freaking 3.8 CGPA right now.
How is it going to contribute to my MY career in less than 18 months?
No one is going to look at my GPA and be like..

"owh, you are smart. we want smart people. you are hired to play Kim in Miss Saigon."

*rolls eyes at myself*

Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I wish.

Life is pretty tough right now that I have to balance work, studies, rehearsals, meetings, friends, boyfriend, and more rehearsals.
The fact that my rehearsals has started has effected my pay cheque (because I can't work as much as I use to) just gets to me because what if that happens to me after I graduate too?
I am still lucky enough to have a tad bit of allowance from my parents, just enough to cover rent and eat.
It's not like back home in Malaysia where rent, bills and food is never a worry for me.

But after I graduate, there won't be anymore once-in-a-while luxurious meals or presents for myself anymore because I would have to pay my own rent, bills, and expenses.
What more living in the city of Big Apple.

I need to tell myself that I am good enough.
I need to tell myself and not be embarrassed for who I am and what I dream to be.

*screams out loud*

I just don't know how to feel about myself right now.
Sometimes I am just embarrassed of what I aspire to be.
Yes, I have big dreams and I have a vision for myself, but I don't want to be labeled as one of those people who does nothing but daydream, that is why I am afraid to admit my goals and who I want to be in life.

It reminds me of a typical 7 year old kid talking about what she wants to be when she grows up.

Teacher: " So, what are the three things you want to be when you grow up?"

Lil Girl: " First, I want to be a singer because I love to sing. Second, I want to be a teacher because I want to be like you. Third, I want to vet because I love my dog."

Don't laugh
, but isn't this what almost every girl aspires to be?
Maybe not a vet, but I am pretty sure that almost every girl has a singer, actress, or model in her list.

I was talking to someone the other day....

abc: "So, what do you want to do with your degree?"
Yenn: "erm..... teach."

(obviously not?! At least not before I start a family. What do you think I came all the way here to study for? to teach?)

Jeph: "Babe... are you sure?
Yenn: "erm.... well, of course I want to perform..."

Yup, that is how much confidence I have in myself... and I am not exaggerating at all.

I have problems with people telling me that I am good.
I have problems with people telling me that I am beautiful.
I have problems with the fact that I can do it.

Truthfully speak, I am so afraid. So damn afraid of life after school, but since I have already chosen this path, I can't do anything about it but to suck it up and get through it. I keep telling myself to trust God because eventually things will unfold itself, and the only thing I need to worry about is getting the first right step.

So, since dreams are free.
Let me share what I dream to be.
(promise that you guys will not judge me on this)
*Tells myself: Aim for the moon, if I fall, I'll still fall among the stars*

~ I dream to be one of the first few Malaysians to perform live on Broadway's stage.
~ Lea Salonga is my idol and she is who I want to be, representing Malaysia.
~ Michelle Yeoh is also another idol and motivation in my life. I want to be as internationally known and as successful as she is in this complicated industry without having to give up her self dignity.

*deep breath*

There, I have laid it all out.

This is me, this is who I am and who I want to be.

I will shine and ignore all those negative thoughts I have and what people have put into me.

I will embrace my future and know that I have people who love me to back me up no matter what happens.

*I can do everything, through Christ that strengthens me*

*inhale, exhale....*

You know what?
I feel better already now.

Thanks for listening.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day

No offense to anyone.

Valentine's Day is OVERRATED.
Why treat someone special on this day when you can treat him or her special all year round?
Nevertheless, it is a day to look forward to because some how everything is more romantic and it is good to have something to look forward to.
right? :)

My Valentine's Day this year is very different from all the other years because the best thing to do back home when there are tonnes of good restaurants around is to pick one that you like, join the traffic jam, and pay extra for this 'special day'.

My Valentine this year treated me to a safe cost restaurant, in my room.
*kay... its not that he is a cheapo but the fact that he offered to cook for me sounds like a better plan than anything else, especially when we are all broke.

I was at work for the entire morning and that was when I had my first Valentine's Day gift from a friend.

A candy necklace! :)
American kids here are so darn lucky, they have every kind of candy in the world to make them happy. Before obese seeps in......
I walked around happily with my candy around my neck and whenever I felt like eating it, I would just pull it to my mouth and bite one off the string.

After work, I went for an interview with the International Student Orientation Leader Program while my Valentine took my house keys and did all the preparations before I came home.

I came home with Mr. Valentine preparing his dishes.
He was super nervous because it was his first time cooking Filipino food.
And for a first timer's try, it was super darn good. At least it taste better that it looks. :)
I was getting ready and as I walked out, I was greeted by an all-dressed-in-a-suit host (which was also my Valentine date).

'Welcome to Bistro Barrios', he said as he led me into my bedroom.
I was banned from my room until dinner started.

Mr. Valentine decorated my teeny tiny room with balloons and I even had a center piece for our little romantic dining table.

My Valentine balloon that was attached to the center piece.

Everything was kept to simplicity from food, to homemade cranberry vodka.

Definitely one of the few days in my life to remember.

One thing to keep in mind though, everyday should be Valentine's day. Right?

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Reach for the Starz's Journey to the Past

I just realize that I never put my emotions up front in my blog.
I kinda feel that I am losing that personal blogger touch that I use to have and I am just updating what I do, and not so much of what I feel anymore.
What is the point of blogging anyways?

I use to do it because most of my friends did it.
I wanted to joined the clan I suppose.
It was fun. The journey of uploading pictures, things that I did, and getting comments about my life and pictures were... entertaining.
It was the...... "owh I love the attention and popularity days."
I was clicking through my old posts and I am so embarrassed with the fact that I sucked so much at blogging. No sentence structure, spelling errors because I didn't bother reading through before posting it, 'I think I am cool slangs', and super *loh soh* stories of I did this and I ate that.
Later, blogging became part of my life because it would be the place of venting my thoughts, frustrations, love, hate, ideas, feelings... and I guess too much personal details.
That's when I got into trouble.

A list of unfortunate events happened.
And you know what?
Let's talk about it. It was two years ago, and of anyone wants to penalize me for talking about it, scr*w you. I'm in another country anyways, so there is nothing anyone can do about it to hurt me more.

Here's what I found from a very old blog post of mine about what happened.

"One fine day, kT told me that Aunt XX told Aunt ZZ that i appear in Seventeen Magazine in a bikini. Well, i guess they were just concern. I appreciate that. Aunt ZZ then told kT's parents bout me in the bikini and then kT's parent had a chat with him. They advised him to tell me about it. Which I REALLY Thank u for doing so. kT told me the 2nd day. Well, i was quite shocked as I didn't know such a small teeny weeny thing could cost SO Much trouble.

I was actually very hurt because they could have came straight to me rather than going all around. I felt that they were backstabbing me. Also, if they think dressing revealing is a sin, what makes u think gossiping isn't? If u didn't wanna come straight to me, why can't u go to my mum then? Instead of going to my (then) Boyfriend's parents? What do you mean by that? Well, in my point of view, on that photo shoot day, I was having my 'visit'. Obviously, I couldn't wear a bikini bottom. So they gave me the bikini top. If u wanna compare, the girls were either wearing the bikini top or the bikini bottom. So how? Secondly, we were modeling for a Swim Wear company, Roxy. Its all about bikinis, monokinies and board shorts. No Baju Kurungs. Thirdly, I was modeling at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach where EVERYONE was wearing BIKINIES!! I wasn't standing out. If I were dressed like that in a mall, shoot me however u want. gossip as much too. But I'm at Sunway Lagoon. Does it ring a bell to u?

For your info, I was modeling for Seventeen Magazine. Read the word TEEN I am not posing Nude, I am not topless. I am wearing a swimsuit. Or at least a swim top. The magazine is mostly read by young ladies and there is NOTHING sensual about the mag. I am also sure they won't put anything too sensual in the Magazine also rite?

For what I know, at least for what God is concern, my heart is pure. I did not steal, I did not lie, I did not bomb any building. God looks at the inside rather the outside.
who cares if u r dressed up like a Egyptian Mummy n u go around sleeping with other people?? Also, if u r afraid that guys would get turned on.. The situation would be the same if u put a lady in Baju Kurung in front of a Lustful guy. He will still fantasize and undress you with his eyes. Its the heart that matters most.

If u think that I'm sinning against God for wearing a bikini, what makes u think that you are not sinning for judging people? At least i din do anything to hurt people physically nor emotionally. On the other hand, I felt that u hurt my feelings and u caused other people to think of me differently...

I don't know but no offense to anyone. I'm just speaking my mind. I just hope that you all would support what I am doing and not back stab me. I'll be glad if u all would b able to make it to my finals with a supporting heart. I hate to say this but, If u guys r going there just to look at my performance and to judge it, then spread gossips about it, I rather u not come.
Thankfully, I had my friends"

*Laugh out loud*

It is so funny having to read what I wrote two years ago and still remember every single detail and hurt I went through. It is even funnier that I am here in the United States and every where I go during summer, girls will be in bikini tops regardless if they are on the beach or even just outside their house gardening.

Some people are just so shallow minded that no matter what you do, they will still find a single teeny weeny mistake you did so that they can judge you.
Well you know what, to heck I care because I live for myself and not for you.
But since then, I closed myself. I realized that it was not worth the drama.

I had thoughts if I wanted to keep my blog or not because it was like a public diary and anyone from anywhere could have just dug my shyte and stab me with my own words.
I decided to ignore my crazy thoughts and kept it.

Later, my blog became a station of updates.

Friends and family would drop by occasionally to see how and what was I up to since I am all the way round at the other side of the globe.
It was a good sense of communication and update without having to talk too much.
For example, my cousin just uploaded pictures of my new house back home (the one that I have not seen before).
I would not know about it if I had stop blogging because I would not blog hop as much.
So, its a good thing that I still am keeping the blog.
And I never regretted it.

Now, I find people through my blog that I never thought that I could talk to.
Personals that I never knew existed, friends who I have never spoken to but have so much in common at the same time.
My blog has been part of my life for almost four years now, and I still do look back on what I write two three years ago, laughing at all the childish slangs and spelling errors that come along.

Happy 40th month old blog.

I will be anticipating the day my children google my name on the world wide web, finding you, and reading through my ups and downs.
Haha... Laugh all you want, but I am serious ok.

Friday, February 06, 2009

A Day Trip to Chicago Chinatown

The new Malaysian Student Association Committee recently organized a trip to Chicago's Chinatown to celebrate Chinese New Year. I can't deny that we were pretty darn worried that we would not have enough people to cover the cost of the bus.
Thankfully for Lynn who called up almost every single person she knew in Kalamazoo, we managed to fill the 47 seat Charter bus.

Miss New President and I

We even got our American friends to join us on the trip.
Introducing Caitlyn. I am pretty sure that this is not the first time I introduced her in my blog.
Caitlyn is probably one of the craziest people I know and guess what is she doing in the picture?
She is literally biting my hair!!

Upon arriving... This is what we usually see in the movies filmed in Chicago.
It's famous skylines.

Chicago's Chinatown.
I was absolutely utterly disappointed when I found out that PENANG- The Malaysian Restaurant was burned down as I had a craving for Chicken Rice.

Another one of my American friends, Martin. Actually, the first American friend I knew, and guess what was the first thing he said to me?

Martin: "Ni Hao." ('How are you' in mandarin)

Took me by surprise, but we've been good friends ever since.

Found another recommended place and then waited outside for about half an hour for the restaurant to open it's doors.

My awesome neighbors, Dumpling Kit, Gorgeous Cheryl, and Eeno Neemo

Joy Yee Noodles- definitely a great place with HUGE PORTIONS and a not too bad pricing.

Soft Shell Crab Pasta for $14
Look at the humongous portion!!!!

And of course, Lynn and I shared.
We never finished it.
I guess it would be better if three people shared the dish, at least it wouldn't go to waste.

Most of us.

We then headed to the parade area along with the other hundreds. There were cop cars all lined up to block traffic, and cops on horses to manage the crowd.

We found a tight spot and waited for the parade to start.

Cheryl's signature pose

The usual Dragon that we see during Chinese New Year
.Lion Dances.
No offense, but coming from the country which is internationally known to have the number one Lion Dance, I wasn't impressed with what I saw.
I mean, all they did was shake the head and wiggle the butt.
C'mon, a Lion Dance with no acrobatic skills?
On the other, my American friends loved it. So it was fine in the end.

Little Asian kids beating on drums and screaming 'Gong Hei Fatt Choi' in the parade was the highlight for me.

Somehow they had Scottish Pipe bags and men in Kilts.

I loved the architecture of Chinese influenced buildings

The building right behind us.

After the parade, we took the transit train to downtown for window shopping.

As we were walking...

Here's the night view of Chinatown from the transit. Nice? :)

Mini updates:
1. I am starting to get busy with rehearsals for the Donkey Show which is showing after Spring Break.

2. The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is staging in the middle of the month! Come watch me show the middle finger at the end of my song!

3. My lower back and my right butt cheek hurts.

4. I can't wait for Spring because I am sick of snow and ice.

5. I want to watch Lion King!!! Why are the tickets so expensive? Oh wait, I forgot. That is my industry and that is where I am going to be getting my pay cheque...
Go watch more Broadway musicals.
There is a different emotional connection between movies and live theatre.
Support the arts!

6. I have a new house back home and it sucks that I don't even know how my bedroom looks like.

7. Daddy got transferred to Bangladesh. I love you daddy and I hope you enjoy your stay there. Call mummy more often!

8. He's Not That Into You is a great movie!

Till then, I am hungry.
Have a great week ahead.