+ Pages +

Thursday, January 07, 2010

I Hate

Who doesn't?

I guess it would be the only reason why I am currently indulging myself into thinking what is going to happen to my owh-so-smooth-sailing life.
I guess, I got things way too easy to begin with, and that is why I am freaking out with the two most horrifying words in my dictionary.

My terms of being too easy to begin with?
I don't know, I kinda always gotten what I wanted.
I got my voice diploma, I got to be Cheerleading Captain in high school, I scored well, I miraculously won Seventeen Star Search in Malaysia and got a spread on the Seventeen Magazine, and finally, I don't know how did it happen up till this day.
How the heck did I end up here in Western Michigan University's Music Theatre Performance program, one of the nation's highly acclaimed undergraduate program?
I clearly didn't know what I was getting myself into because everyone here is loaded with talented under their sleeves that it makes me feel so small, tiny!
Most of the time I feel that everyone is beyond comparable!
What can I say. Blessed. Or maybe just, Lucky.

I guess that is why I always thought that life is easy.
I mean, there were a few bumps and port-holes along the road.
I cried when I was stressed, and then everything else unfolds itself.
Maybe easy is not the word. It's easi-ER.

That's why when I didn't get the part in the musical Chicago, it felt like the world fell on me because I knew I did well. I had too many positive feedbacks, most importantly, I knew I had what it takes.
But, I just wasn't right for the part.
That taught me a huge lesson though, with the opportunity of working in a professional theatre in Summer and more, I was living in the fantasy. Well, to be exact, a color blind one.
I just realized that no matter what, I will never play half the roles that I dreamed of playing just because of the way I look. Or the type I look like.
I realized that I will always be playing the studious Asian girl, or the innocent victim that everyone targets on, because of my physiques.
Biggest lesson of the year.


I have been blogging so much lately about I stressed am I about life after graduation that I feel pity for whoever that is reading this because it seems like it is nothing but a broken record, only that it is on a computer screen rather that listening.
Heck! I have not even graduated yet!

One more semester to go.

Ugh, thinking about it makes me send chills down my spine.
I can even see the goosebumps on my arms and the fine hair standing like paddy!
And no, I swear, it is not because of the fact that it is -5 celcius outside right now.

So I have decided.
I figured that it would be easier to take things day by day, and stop cracking my emotions for the future. That, I'll think about it later, when the time comes.
It's not that I can do anything about it anyway.

I have finally uploaded the pictures from the holidays unto my laptop.
My apologies, I have so few pictures because I left my battery charger back home and I didn't even charge the camera before I left for New Jersey.

Here's the view of Manhattan on JFK Boulevard East, just two blocks from where Lynn is living at right now.

The two most important women in my life.

As for New Year's

We thought that it would be suicidal if we were to go to Times Square to watch the ball drop because that place would be loaded with crazy tourists. Besides, who wants to wait eight friggin hours out in the cold just to watch a big ball bounce?
Wait, hundreds of thousands.

So we decided on something more intimate.
Like celebrating New year's eve in a uber cool Japanese restaurant at Hoboken, New Jersey.
And counting down to New Years in a Mexican Bar.
Okay, maybe the Mexican Bar wasn't too cool.
But they had free champagne! And the Japanese dinner was to die for, so it's all worth it.

Besides, it's the company that matters most right!

He said, "Wear green for a prosperous New Year!"

Although we weren't physically in Manhattan, a few days before New Year's, while having dinner, we were approached by an advertising group that was shooting for Budweiser's advert.
They paid us a dollar each (haha.. is that even a payment?), but, they gave us free beer, and all we had to do was chat like how we usually do, and drink beer.
We had our few minutes of fame in Times Square's Budweiser Billboard/TV screen.
But, we didn't see it because we weren't there. Lol.

Had an awesome holiday.
And now, back to reality.
Last semester of my Undergrad baby!

God will make a way

No comments: