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Friday, January 15, 2010

Just Another Ordinary Day

I received an email from my Head of Department and he said:

Congratulations is Sue-Yenn Ng, the Music Theatre Performance Presidential Scholar of 2010!!



And I replied him with,

What? How did I get it? I don't remember applying for anything.


*************


When I saw him at a meeting today, he hugged and congratulated me again for the award and said,

"It means that you've scored the highest CUMULATIVE GRADE POINT AVERAGE of the year in the department."


Yenn: "Owh yay!!!!!! I don't even remember how much was my CGPA but great!"

*pause*

"Does it mean that I get money? Cuz I would need some right now." *beams happily*


Professor: "Haha, nah. But you have a nice little award ceremony and dinner though. Owh wait, they use to have those, now its just h'orderves and some juice. You can bring your family along and it would be great!"

Yenn: "Owh, my sister is not even here anymore. Fun."

Professor: "It's ok, I'll go with you."




I guess that this will be one of those many moments where I will be crying before the event again because I'd wish that my family would be there to see me and be proud. I always thought that after performing so many times, I would eventually grow out of it.

It's been three years now, and I still cry during all of my opening nights because I would see friends and families of my cast mates sharing family hugs, getting Break-a-leg cards, and opening night gifts, and bouquets of bloody red roses and lilies; while my make up table would be empty, or at least the most, filled with my make up brushes, and nothing else.
After the performances, everyone would rush out of their costumes and make up to meet with their family, or high school teachers to talk about 'how great the show was', and I would be left alone in the dressing room figuring out how to get home because everyone would be busy with an appointment with someone special.
Sometimes, I would be lucky to get a ride home from a friend who doesn't have anyone special that night, most of the times I would walk home reluctantly in the cold.

Besides the hype of performing in front of our first audience, I dread opening nights.
I loved the rehearsal process, I loved the costumes and make up craze, I loved the process during the show especially, I loved the energy of everyone's excitement, but I hated the after shows. I really do.

I guess it's something that I will always have to get used to, eventually.




Lol, so emo.





That aside, dad, mum, and Lynn, hope I do you proud :)
xoxo







1 comment:

weihao said...

i can feel how you felt.. :(