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Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I bet many of you have heard of GLEE :)
I auditioned for it a couple of days ago by sending my video to the online open call.
And now, I need you help to give me a gold star to help me achieve my dreams of performing.

Thank you thank you thank you :)

On another note, do not, ever, take pictures from a lower angle. Especially if you have a fat neck :)

Till then, picking daddy up in 11 hours!!!!!!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Spring Showers, May Flowers

The one thing that you can always talking about in Michigan, would be the weather.
If you see a pretty girl or hunky guy that you don't know and you really like to talk to, talk about the weather. There is always something to talk about. Be it, rain, sun, how snowy it is, or the fact that you can have a blizzard and uber clear sunny skies the next minute.

The trees have started blooming and it is way past their prime time. I think the prettiest part of spring are the few short days of visible blooming flowers before green buds appear. I have always made it a point to take pictures of it, but nope. Always too busy, and my cheap old ass phone's bluetooth ain't being the nicest ever.
Owh well, my last spring here in Kalamazoo Michigan. I hope I'll have memory pictures of it. 

It's been cloudy for the past two three days, and it will soon start raining. Which means that spring is officially here. I remembered that this time last year was still bitter cold, in fact we had a snow day sometime this time. Owh I can't wait to put on flip flops, sun dresses, and shades :)

Friday, April 23, 2010

One Last Time

I will be going to my last class today (besides my Spanish Final on the coming Tuesday), even so, it is not a class. It's a showing of my directing scene that I have been working on with my actors for my Directing class. So technically, I just sit there and watch our classmate's scenes.

One last time... and my life as a student is done for good.


So overwhelming.

I'm definitely excited about not having anymore homeworks and research papers to do, but to finally get out and be on my own, not quite sure.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

To Dye Or Not To Dye

XYX:  Yenn, you needa get some snips. You're ends are fried.

Yenn:  *What?! I didn't understand what was he talking about until I saw him staring at my fresh, out of the shower blow dried hair.*
         Owh, yeah I know. I just don't have faith in going to regular hair salons here just because they don't know how to cut Asian hair! I'm just waiting till I get to New York's Chinatown.

Just so you know, XYX is a black dude. And to have a guy say that to me, means that I really do need a haircut. Opps.

I'm not trying to be racist. But seriously, getting a haircut around Kalamazoo is almost impossible. Well, for Asian girls at least. Heck, I've been Mike's regular hair dresser ever since I got here (besides the occasional haircuts he gets when he goes to Chicago's Chinatown.)

Lol. Mike's hair, not too shabby eh? Bel on the other hand.... naw.. I'm just kidding.
He just happens to be in the picture.
The only reason why I chose to post this picture because it was the same day I gave Mikey a hair cut on my balcony, next to the dumpster because my bathroom was too stuffy. And, I look fat in the close up picture of me and him during the ball :(

Oh, I found another picture of Mike, this time with me in it :)
Look at him, being all pimp. Always the ladies' guy.
From left, Crystal Ong, Izzah, Fei Poh, Mikey, SimpleCheryl, Quzrin

Anyway, back to hair. Unless you have very fine, very little hair on your head. Or perhaps you want to look like a broom head for end result? It's just that Kalamazoo is such a small undiversed community that hair dressers are not used to cutting minority hair. Caucasians tend to have thinner hair compared to us. I mean, ain't it obvious, we've got all the pigmentations we need on our head. Whenever they get their hair trimmed, all they need to do is just ship the ends off. No need for layers, nothing.
Personally, I would die if I had no layers on my head. You have idea how layered my hair is. It's so darn layered that you can't even tell the amount of hair I actually have on my head. 
No kidding!

I've been craving to do something different with my hair. I've had the same hair cut for forever now. I've wanted to get highlights 2 years ago when I was back home but I was in a show. I wanted to cut my hair shorter than usual the last few times I got my hair cut but I couldn't either because I was involved in other shows. I wanted to color my hair purple... and I was in another show :(

I love what I do, but my body just doesn't belong to me anymore. Especially being Asian, I have to look stereotypically Asian because I would get cast as one. (Also means that I should look stick thin because Asians are generally smaller in size FML) I guess blond and red are out of my list now. I wanna cut it short! But I know I will regret it because I would need my hair for shows.


Tell me how?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Wake Up Call

Situation number ONE

Phone rings... Looks at screen...

Yenn: "Hi JIE!!!!"

Lynn: "Hello!!! I just watched you videos!! I like!!!"

Yenn: "Really? Which one you like?"

Lynn: "The One Night Stand song."

Yenn: "Yay!!!"

Lynn: "But, really you put on weight adi."


Situation number TWO

Called mom for the first time in forever because I finally refilled my calling card.

Dial... Ring....

Mom: "Hello"

Yenn: "Hi mom!!!!!"

Mom: *turns to kids* "Shhhhh.... I gotta a call from US.
          *turns back to me* Hello, finally call me ar? How are you?"

Yenn: "I'm good. How are you mom."

Mom: "Good. Eh you know ar, you fat already lo. You better stop making cake. You need to lose weight. You know that you are in this performing field, you have to be slim!!!"

Yenn: =.= "I know ma.... I have not worked out since I sprained my ankle. It still hurts in the mornings.
          By the way, did you see the youtube videos that I posted?"

Mom: Yeah. Fat lor!


Situation number THREE

Wakes up by my text message tone... Looks at screen...

Text from Lynn: "Dad called mum and the mum called me to tell you to lose weight. Yeah, so no more baking for you. Start preparing for New York.



So sad. Best part is all this happened three days in a row.
I know that I have put on weight. I think I need help. Working in the bloody cafeteria is not helping at all too. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have been falling in this sin of gluttony. Worst, I JUST fell in love with baking! It makes my soul feel good. I spoke to bestie Amin about this and here's what he said.

Amin: "Why don't you just bake and not eat it?"

Yenn: "wow. that's like torturing myself right?"


 How? Sometimes I really envy those people who stuff their faces , not workout, and not care about what they eat and they still stay stick thin. Why are they so blessed with such high metabolism? Why is it that being meaty/fleshy/or just plain fat part of your family genes? So unfair. Ask everyone, I am probably the healthiest eater among my group of friends.

Worst thing is that, I know all of this is true. I've been noticing that I've gained weight. I complained and all my friends told me that I am just thinking too much. Friends will always try to make you feel better about yourself, which is great. But I guess in this case, I really needed a wake up call. Someone to tell me, "Yenn, bloody stop eating. YOU ARE FAT!The thing about family opinions is that, they ALWAYS tell the truth and they are always bluntly straight forward about it (which is great because I know that everything that they say is true). This time I needed not one, not two, but three of my only family members to knock that in my head.
Damn emo. But damn true.

I am officially giving up baking until I lose at least 5 pounds.
The only exception would be when I am baking for friends.
No more baking because I have extra bananas, or because I wanted to for no reason.


Dear fairygodmother, I wish that I was not am not a fei poh.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Of Homemade Burgers.

and you still wonder why the hell am I complaining that I am fat. Grrr.....

So, I've been into cooking lately. More like baking, but anyhow. I just decided to make homemade hamburgers because it makes me feel as though summer is coming. C'mon, I live in Michigan. One day it would be 26 Celsius, and the next thing you know, it drops to 2 Celsius at night. I kid you not!

Here's all the seasonings I used for the burger. I don't know why did I say Hamburger in the first place when there is not ham involved in it. I made burgers for 10 people but that includes 5 dudes, so there was more than enough.

Burger Patty Recipe

5 1/2 lbs Lean Ground Beef 
4 eggs
2 Jalapeno Peppers
6 Cloves of Garlic
1/2 cup Worcestershire Sauce
Everything else to taste. Sorry, not that helpful :(
Seasoned Salt
Black Pepper
Chili Powder
Cilantro Leaves
Italian Seasoning 

Stuff to go with

Sautéed mushrooms and sweet onion 
Chips on the side (great with avocado if you add onions, salt, and lemons to make Guacamole)
Anything you want

I wanted my burgers to be healthy so I picked ground meat that has less fat in it.
See the numbers on the top right of the label?
Which means that only 15 percent of the meat is fatty meat.
If your meat has more than 22 percent of fat, it is not lean ground beef anymore.

If I had a choice, I would go for leaner meat than 15 percent. The only thing that stopped me was that, the leaner the meat, the more expensive it is. Once again, I'm just a college student cooking for friends. Until I make awesome cash, I'll go cheap but still try to eat healthy.

This is the key ingredient to my homemade burgers. Splash some on burgers while grilling too (if you like it juicy)

Since it was 5 freaking pounds of meat, I used a pot to mix everything because I didn't have a bigger bowl and I didn't want it to be too messy on a chopping board. But here's how it looks like before making it into patties. 

Owh and one important thing, always marinate OVERNIGHT for more flavor.

To make patties, all you need to do is just grab a handful of meat with you hand. Roll it into a ball, flatten the ball of meat, and there you are set. It also depends on how thick you want you patty to be and make sure that the diameter of the burger patty fits your burger buns. Keep in mind that the thicker the patty it, the longer it take to cook!

I bought my favorite Pepperjack Cheese to go with the Burgers.

Pepper jack cheese is a derivative of Monterey Jack that includes spicy hot peppers for flavor. Spicy, delicate and buttery, pepper jack cheese is semi-soft and open textured with a slightly tart flavor.

Also, I sautéed canned Portabella Mushrooms with Sweet Onions on the side. Hence, Swiss Cheese!!
(I would prefer fresh portabella mushrooms, but I am a poor college student and although 50cents isn't gonna make much of a difference, I still try to save whenever I can)

For those who know me well. I am pretty much of a health freak (besides the occasional unnecessary gluttony), I always have vegetable with my meals. I'd rather just eat salad than to have steak with just potatoes as the only source of fiber. You get the deal.

I marinated Green Peppers, Red Peppers, Yellow Peppers, Sweet Onions, and Zucchini in Balsamic Vinaigrette in a pot overnight. 
Throw em on the grill the day of. Or, if you have a tiny grill and have no space (like us), just fry them on a pan. No oils whatsoever is needed. If you think it's too dry, add a little Balsamic Vinaigrette (but you don't wanna soak it). The whole idea is not make it as similar as the grill.

My mistake was that I added a little too much water along with the marinate so it because too diluted.
If you don't have a budget, don't add water at all. Or you could just put a bowl of Balsamic Vinaigrette on the side and your guests can just dip their veggies in it. 

Talk about fiber, here's our source of protein (besides meat)
Cut em, blend em in a mixer with 1 1/2 tablespoons of water. Add a little salt.
There, you're done.

If you know that you  will be keeping it out in the open for a while, add lemon juice to prevent it from being oxidized. 

I also had Bread and Butter Pickles as one of the the condiment options. I personally love bread and butter pickles compared to regular Kosher Pickles. 
Difference between them is that Bread and Butter is sweet and Kosher is salty.
It may sound weird, I know but I think that the sweetness compliments the burger and the taste of it is more subtle compared to a salty pickle.

And of course, you have to have tomatoes in your burgers. Only because I adore them and would eat them like how I would eat an apple :)


I am so bummed that I don't have anymore pictures of the burger making, grilling, and eating process because I was too busy making patties, grilling the veggies, and of course when I was eating, I was all sloppily licking my fingers from the gigantic veggie stuffed jalapeño cheese burger.

And, maybe I did forget to document it because I was too cause up in talking and stuffing my fat face.

But here is a picture of the burger that looks kinda like mine that I found online, but of course not as awesome as mine :)

Two thumbs up!!! And it does make me feel like Summer is near!

ps. i baked yesterday and it is a recipe of my own :)
till next time.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

What the F?! The Femme Finale

not only the only all girl cabaret, it's the last senior cabaret of the year too!

So, here are some videos from some of my performances about a month ago in school.
We were performing in a cabaret to raise funds for our Senior Showcase Trip in New York (the one that I f**ked up because I lost my voice, yeah)

I hated my make up for this just because it was right after the performance of CHICAGO. I mean, you've seen it in pictures. They're not the regular make up that I put on. The only time I would ever wear crazy goth black eye shadow, thick liner, uber red cheeks and lips, and heavy lashes all at once would be Halloween, when I either dress up as a prostitute, or a burlesque stripper (which I kinda did last Halloween)

Plus, looking at the videos got me annoyed that I didn't have time to take off those heavy fake eyelashes because after dancing around for two hours, the glue started to melt, and the lashes were in my eyes than anywhere else. I know I have chinky eyes already, and plus the eyelashes in them, you can barely see my eyes open. How?! Not to mention, the camera man didn't really do a good job in taping it as you can see him zooming in and out (which I find a little distracting- and you can see em chinky eyes more damn it). And I look so out of place (overly made up), compared to Emily and Cait because they only that the cabaret performance that night. Bleh.

I literally had to not take my curtain call and run backstage after the show, strip, tear the mic tape of my neck, put on my cabaret dress and heels, and run out for the next performance. Fun, but no fun. I still feel amazed how fast my quick change was and I swear, on the last day of the cabaret, I only took 20 seconds to change out of everything and put clothes back on. *beams proudly*

Okay, enough ranting. Videos, here ya go.

First solo- I COULD GET USED TO THIS (Cover) The Veronicas
Yea, "I'm wearing clothes right now", just because I was almost half naked in CHICAGO

Duet with Emily Iaquinta- MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE (Cover) Bob Dylan/ Adele

*One of my favorite songs* Excuse the 'vulgarness' if that's a word. It's all from the song :)

*yeah, you can here simplecheryl screaming at the background :)

First Trio- LOOK AT ME from The Witches Of Eastwick
*damn sepet. I know*

Okay. Hope you guys are not bored already. Last song. Hang on.

Closing Trio- PAPARAZZI (Cover) Lady Gaga *of course*
aka. Our money song because we start begging for money :)


Thanks to all who came and support! :) You have no idea how much it meant.

Videos are awesome, but they show all the details and mistakes, every eye twitch, every glitch, every tension you have in your face and body. I love watching how I look like performing, but I always ended up hating the videos just because I always think that I look horrible. Gah. Yup, I am my worse critic. 

By watching myself, I found so many little 'omigod why' moments. 
Like, 'Why are you smiling so much?! you look retarded!'
'Ugh, that dress makes you look fat. Didn't you look at yourself in the mirror before going out?' Well, technically I didn't because I was changing in the dark before running out.
'Why are you squinting your eyes again?!'
'Why do you keep looking at the person that you are singing with?'
'Why are you so fat?!'
'Why are you so.... blah blah blah....!'

That's why live theatre is way better. You watch it, get inspired, you leave with a happy feeling. No doubts. Videos, ruins live performance.
Agree not?

I need to lose 15 pounds :( How?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Holy Crap & Random Ramblings

It is Thursday today.
Second last Thursday of the semester before finals week.
I just got my graduation robe, chords, cap, and tassle.
I am really going to graduate.

Brings me back to 4 months ago when Lynn left Kalamazoo.
I keep telling myself that things are going to be fine. It's just another phase in life, and I will get over it sooner or later. I will. It's just an extremely difficult and a whole new idea to wrap my brain around.

Part of me feel as though I have never cherished my student life. 
True that I have been involved in the theatre department with main stage performances. I feel truly blessed that I have had the opportunity to perform in four shows throughout my six semesters here. On the other hand, as much as I hate to admit, I always felt a little outcast just because I don't hang out with my peers as much as I hoped I would because of work, framily, and such.

Same goes with being with my friends here whom I call family (framily), I was always 'out'. Either rehearsing, or working. I would be at home and when my roomies have friends over, the common thing I would here would be "omg. Yenn, you are at home! No rehearsal merh?!" Lol. In my own house. How funny is that. My apartment is nothing but a place to store my shit and sleep at night. Nothing more. 

Let's talk about traveling.
Ever since I got to the United States, I have always made it a point to save save save, and travel. I've been to Washington DC, Detroit, Chicago, Orlando Florida, and New York (x 628). I need to travel more. I need money to do that too! I wanna go on a roadtrip! Never mind, till I have more in my bank account, I'll talk about travelling. 

I have a full student life I guess. Nothing to complain about. Just that, I have never done anything absurdly silly. Lets not get into drinking and drugs. I'm not a firm believer on that. What about highlighting my hair? Nope, the last time I did that was back in Malaysia 2007. Holy shit, 3 years! Okay, what about cutting my hair short? Nope, my physical appearance belongs to theatre. I am Asian, and I will always be cast as the Asian girl. And stereotypically, Asians have black hair damn it.

Hmmm.. I should get a body piercing. Somewhere hidden. Belly button? Nipples!? Haha. Too much of a chicken shit to do so. Lose 10 pounds. Now that is actually something that I have been working on and getting good results in... until I sprained my ankle and stopped going to the gym. Blah. Alright. Gym on tomorrow. What else? Colored contacts? The last time I had I was a Christmas present from Lynn in 2005. Five effing years ago!! Man I feel like a dinosaur. Things to do, get colored contacts just for shits and giggles. Gah! I just can't believe that I am graduating and I still have not done anything really that exciting :(

Life goes on.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Somethings To Compare

Last year @ the International Ball

This year @ the same event.

See the difference?
My face damn round!!!!!
I have no shoulders!!!!!
see the bloody fat tummy in the second picture?

Stress. I have not been to the gym and dance since I sprained my ankle. I've been wanting to but my ankle still hurts every once in a while. Most of the times when I wake up. Can someone tell me what to do?
I didn't know how did I actually pull through performing Chicago with it. Plus, I've been on a baking spree. Baking at least once every 10 days. All that yummy baked goods and no where to let it go, how?


Friday, April 09, 2010

Of Carrots

Thank God Its Friday!

Earlier this week, I have been itching to bake something with oatmeal just because I bought a tub of oatmeal.
I have had a planned date with a girlfriend of mine to bake Carrot Cake on Friday, which is today!
I googled multiple carrot cake recipes and finally decided on the specific type of carrot cake. You have no idea how many there were! Lemon zest, rum, pineapple, etc.

We finally settled with Carrot Cake with Rum soaked raisins.



  • 4 eggs
  • 3/4 cups vegetable oil 
  • 1 cups apple sauce
  • 1 small can of crushed pineapple (drained)
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1 1/2 shot of rum
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 3 cups grated carrots
  • 1 cup chopped pecans
  • 1 cup chopped walnuts

  • 1/2 cup butter, softened
  • 8 ounces cream cheese, softened
  • 3 cups confectioners' sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon lemon extract 


  1. Marinate raisins in rum, covered with plastic wrap (preferably overnight)
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan.
  3. Mix shredded carrots with brown sugar. Fold in Pecans and Walnuts.
  4. In a large bowl, beat together eggs, oil, white sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla. Mix in flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Stir in carrots. Pour into prepared pan.
  5. Bake in the preheated oven for 40 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely.
  6. To Make Frosting: In a medium bowl, combine butter, cream cheese, confectioners' sugar and 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla. Beat until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Frost the cooled cake.

Izzah mixing in the carrots and nuts

Our heavenly batter. So good you can even eat it on its own.

Cream Cheese Frosting.
We ran out of confectioners sugar half way through, I ended up blending regular sugar and it came out just as fine.

Cooling after 40 minutes of baking.
Izzah and I decided to initial our cake with raisins just for shits and giggles.

Tada!! Buttering up the cake.
If you had more pans, bake two at once, add on more cream cheese and top it over for a double layer carrot cake!

1. The carrot cake was EXTREMELY moist. awesome texture, thanks to the help of applesauce and crushed pineapples. 
2. We couldn't taste the rum (because we only soaked the raisins right before we bake.) 
Next time round, pre-soak 1 cup of raisin with 2 shots overnight (pour the rest of the rum into batter)
If you want a stronger rum taste, add 1/2 a shot of rum into cream cheese.

Till..... I get fat.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Actualizada a diario sobre la vida

CHICAGO ends tonight.
Last show in college. 
I don't really know how am I feeling right now.
I know I am happy for one, college experience and all. On the other hand, it is one step closer to graduation. Hmm.. let's see, to be exact, my commencement is 29 days away from now. 

Lynn called me yesterday saying that she got accepted into New York University's Master's program. Kudos to you jie. I am so darn proud of you.
On the other hand, remember the Presidential Scholar that I 'supposedly' received?
Well, what a kill joy. Turns out that the department miscalculated, and I was 0.01 points less than the Real Presidential scholar. Hah. Life goes on right?
Should have not been awarded in the first place. 
It sucks to be told that you are not good enough, over and over again.

So, future plans?
I have applied for the Optional Personal Training, and will be working in Saugatuck.
The same theatre that I worked at last summer.
Although I am going to be broke as hell, but I am excited. 
After that, I'll be moving to the Big Apple with Lynn and we'll see where I will end up.
Planning to go back to Malaysia at the end of June 2011 to renew my Visa.

Till then, I want to do something silly tonight.
Just for shits and giggles.
I mean, I am about to graduate and there is nothing to lose right?


Thursday, April 01, 2010

Blueberry & Strawberry Poundcake

Wow, I actually have time to blog. The only reason is because I just got done with my 6 and half hour shift of work and am on campus waiting for my 6pm call time for my second last show of CHICAGO, and my dear roomie uploaded the pictures that I took with her awesome DSLR during my baking session.

So, here ya go.
One of the few things that I found myself liking to do is baking, I'm sure I have said that.

It gives me a sense of peace and it relaxes me after my long hectic days. Still, I am incredibly new at it. I would love to bake with more complex recipes, but I guess that I don't have the balls to try it just yet, and I have no money to invest on nicer pans. Yup, all my baking is done on my faithful 11 x 7 x 2 pan which is not even mine. LOL.

So here's the recipe for Yenn's Blueberry and Strawberry Poundcake.
adapted and edited from rasamalaysia.com


1 cup butter (softened)

2 cups brown sugar

4 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 cups flour divided

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 cups fresh blueberries

1 cups fresh strawberries


Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time and beat until light and fluffy. Add vanilla. Sift 2 cups flour, salt and baking powder together. Add sifted ingredients to creamed mixture and beat.

Dredge berries in remaining flour. Gently fold floured berries into the batter. Grease and dust the bundt pan (or tube pan) with flour; pour batter into it. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until it’s done.

Mix em butter and eggs

Blueberries and Strawberries

Mix em all ingredients. Don't over mix the batter or else it would taste like rubber

That's me!

Spread em properly

Like that

45 minutes later

After cooling

Cut em up and serve!


Taste was so-so. It wasn't as awesome as the Chocochip walnut Banana bread I baked 2 weeks ago. Well, maybe because I scrooged a little on sugar (because I didn't want it to be unhealthy!).

In Future

I will top the Poundcake with Lemon or Orange glaze for more fruity flavor.

Till then, CHICAGO tonight and my Framily with be watching!