Imagine doing that all day.
Technically, it is. Really fun. Especially when you actually finally get the dance choreography, musical harmonies, and all the other details locked in your body, and you have the chance to play with your character. People always ask, "How can you do this over and over again for months?" Answer is, "Well, you can".
Since it is live theatre, every night is a different night because the audience's presence plays such a big part in how we perform. Not that if we have a horrible audience we wouldn't perform as well, but it would be even better with a much responsive audience because many a times our energy feeds off their energy, if you know what I mean.
It is the ninth day of rehearsal and we have six more rehearsals to go until we start our performance run. Our rehearsals are pretty progressive compared to educational theatre because rather it being a school activity that we are involved in, it is our job. Working with the professionals is probably the best experience ever because you get to see how they work and process. And mind you, just like last year, we have pretty famous people working with our production :) That, I'll blog about later.
I just came home today feeling kinda down. The past few rehearsals have been a little draining for me. It is just tough to keep up emotionally. Sad to say, I am not having as much fun as last year. No offence to anyone, but I am just tired, emotionally. Ironically, this emotional stress is cause by none other than my own peers. I personally think that I am a good worker in groups because I have been involved in various performing groups like dance teams and cheerleading squads. Not to mention that I have led one too. I just hate having be rolled over over and over again by people who think so highly of themselves and having to be the scapegoat over small silly little things that don't even matter in life. Nothing big really happened. It is just the small little things that have been reoccurring over and over again over the past couple of days and it drives me crazy. I can't stand being around people with negative energy, it just drains the hell outta me. I don't really want to bitch about people but I'd just thought that this is my blog and after keeping my emotions in for the entire day, it would be fair for myself to be able to rant it out in my own space. I just feel extremely frustrated working with certain people and really, I tried so hard to wipe the slate in my mind clean every single day but I always end up coming home from rehearsal feeling beaten up.
Plus, usually I don't really hang around my theatre friends. Even back in Kalamazoo, because I never really clicked as well. Mind you, I have nothing against them, at all. Maybe because I never tried hard enough because I was comfortable in my own circle of International friends. Maybe because I never bothered going out to parties with them. I don't know. It is just different because I would feel like an outcast most of the time because the topics that we talk about and the things that we relate to are just different. Right now, I just feel like I am in place filled with people, and at the same time I just feel so lonely. I come home everyday to a house that I share with four other girls and yet I would lock myself in my room and stare at my laptop for hours after dinner and my shower, and the go to sleep. And the cycle repeats. Kinda pathetic huh.
I still love what I do.
It is just extremely difficult dealing with different kinds of people.
And I am sure that applies to any other jobs out there.
My motto, as long as you are dealing with people, there is always trouble.