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Saturday, October 02, 2010


It has been a hectic week.
Well, not really. The only significant thing that happened was the cabaret, but it felt like such a huge deal that my body just crashed right after that. I usually almost never get nervous before a performance. I mean, I do get the excitement and adrenaline kicking before, but nerves, ALMOST never. At least not as much as a couple of days ago. Maybe it was because it is my NYC debut, or maybe because my newer group of friends were there to support me, I don't know. But the nerves we messing me up even the day before performing itself. I wrote a post right before this saying that I am excited and all, you know what, maybe it's just me being nervous. Maybe, I am trying to lie to myself saying that I am NOT nervous, only excited. I don't know.
Whatever it is, I never felt that way. And oh boy, it was NOT the greatest feeling.

I thought I did pretty well singing wise, (considering the fact that my throat literally closed up in that space. I don't know if it was because of the muggy weather, or the space itself, or because I am just plain nervous.) However, since it was a cabaret, I had to talk in between songs yada-yada, and I am extremely horrible in it, especially when I am nervous. I just don't freaking realize how much faster I would talk, and then I would trip over my tongue, and then try to come up with a come back line to cover my tongue-tied syndrome, and then... and then... bah. I just can't talk! Damn it. 

Owh well, what was done, was done.

I have Lynn recorded my songs for me but since the setting was such that it was completely dark and I only had a spotlight on my face, you can't really see my face in the videos (which sucks because you don't see any facial expressions AT ALL). 

Hmmm... Beggars can't be choosers right?

Where Will I Sleep Tonight from Bite! The Musical, Brett Simmons

The other two songs that I sang before this were songs that I sang a lot before (My One Night Stand and The Best I've Ever Had). The reason that I picked those three songs was because they were of 3 completely different styles and I thought that, if I was going to sing for a showcase-type performance, I would want to show that I am as versatile as possible. So, I've got the comedy, I've got the contemporary rock, and finally the dramatic song.

Where Will I Sleep tonight is by far the hardest dramatic song that I have ever encountered (part of the reason why I picked it too, so that I could experiment with it). The song is written in such a way that it repeats itself, the verse and chorus three times each! And how am I suppose to play them all differently?
First off, Bite! the musical takes a contemporary spin on our old time Adam and Eve's story; of how Eve took the forbidden bite and was forced to leave her home, her paradise. Here I am singing, pleading with Adam, with myself, and God. And I really do hope that I managed to portray that in the song.
Performing is not only about singing pretty and all, the most important thing is to get the story across. I was told once that, 'It is better to be a good story teller with less of a good voice than to sing the song so pretty with no connection or whatsoever with it.' And I think that is absolutely true because if I am forced to sit down and listen to ten people sing, I would either zone out or actually listen to what they are saying. 

I really think that the video did not do me justice just because you can't see ANY of my expressions at all. I hope I can do this song again, just so I could repost it and get your opinions on it.

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