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Monday, December 12, 2011


I question myself every once in a while on why am I pursuing what I am doing right now. As much as I love being on stage performing and releasing my creative juices, I do have doubts and I crave for stability. Why can't I just have that full time corporate job like everyone else? I would have a set schedule, I would have a stable income, I would be... normal.

I see my creativity as gasoline, I fill up my tank, and I keep running till I am low on fuel, then I would have to get a refill (on inspiration and purpose), and I keep running again. I am sure it works the same for everyone else despite different career choices.

I got a call from my roomie at 11am (I had just woke up from a late night), telling me that there was going to be a premier of the long awaited movie that I have been anticipating ever since K sent me the link to the trailer. The Lady is directed my Luc Besson, starring my long time hero and idol Michelle Yeoh. I hopped off the bed, grabbed breakfast, and rushed out of the apartment. The premiere tickets have been sold out for more than a week and I was determined to get my excited-self to the waiting line, hoping that I could get no-show tickets 10 minutes before the show. I was 5th in that line. After waiting for an hour with a long train of people behind me, I managed to get in.

Award-winning director Ang Lee who directed Broke Back Mountain and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon gave the opening speech, giving us insights of working with the fabulous Michelle when they were filming C.T.H.Dragon. Apparently she filmed most of the movie with her broken knee in a brace. He also spoke about how he taught her Mandarin for the film. Clearly she was a hardworking actress. She lost a total 14 kilograms for the movie for goodness sake! That is almost 31 pounds!

The 127 minute film was heart-wrenching. There was so much that we could see through her eyes even though there were scenes where she did not say anything. I was telling myself to stop crying before my non-waterproof mascara smears all over my face. She deserves an Oscar for this film. 
I loved that the movie was directed showing the more personal side of the story, the love story, rather than the political aspect of it. I felt that because the theme of the movie is Love, it has the capability of reaching out to more people because it is a feeling, or a value that everyone experiences at some point of their lives, be it the love for their country, their mother, or their child. 
This movie is also extremely relevant right now because of the political changes and the need for revolution around the world right now. Think OccupyWallStreet, Malaysia's Bersih movement, the Middle East's fight for democracy, and etc.

A teeny part of the Q and A

After the Q&A session, K and I made our way through the crowd and finally had the chance to talk to her. I was shaking and star struck. I couldn't speak properly. The words that came out of my mouth was literally, "Hi, I-I am Malaysian and-and I am as-aspiring to-to be an actress........oh.. I jjjJjj-ust wwWwant to let u-u-u know that-that you are-are such an inspiration to-to me."
Gosh! I made such a fool of myself. Had I spoken any longer, I would have cried while I harassed her with my nervous words! It was funny that K was there to witness me slowly breaking down in her awesomeness. It must have been hilarious. Michelle was very kind. She told me to keep trying and work hard.

I'll definitely remember that. 

K., Michelle Yeoh, and I
She is so gorgeous! I look like an ogre next to her :(

I left the night feeling super inspired. I want to do this. I want to make people feel this way. I want to be like Michelle Yeoh. It is not just the fact that she an amazing actress. You could really see her work hard for what she want and that is what I want to be.

"Please use your liberty to promote ours."

“I don't believe in people just hoping. We work for what we want. I always say that one has no right to hope without 
endeavor, so we work to try and bring about the situation that is necessary for the country, and we are confident that we will get to the negotiation table at one time or another.” 

“You should never let your fears prevent you from doing what you know is right.”
 ~ Aung San Suu Kyi

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